A knights curse
by Shadowstg44
Summary: Marinette is having trouble sorting out who she is, Tikki tells her that she’s Ladybug with and without the mask but it feels like she’s being split in two. Can she keep herself together or will she split down the middle and let her world collapse around her?
1. What makes a hero

A/N: so I decided to redo the opening. I was contemplating it and the old one would be better for a one shot but I think I want this to be a few chapters. Thank you everyone who has left a review I'll do my best to avoid simple grammar mistakes in the future.

Chapter 0: what makes a hero

It was the first day of the new school year and Marinette was already exhausted. Hawkmoth had not been quite over the summer break and there was no shortage of fear in the world. In Mexico two supers appeared out of nowhere and were causing a lot of damage in their fighting. Ladybug seemed to have interviews at least once a week to try and quell people's fears that she and Chatnoir could turn evil. That question has been plaguing Marinette's dreams and with each tragedy in Mexico they have slowly turned into nightmares. When she first started telling people that that they wouldn't turn evil she believed what she said, but the more she thinks about it she's not convinced. Marinette knows that Chat will stay faithful to her, but she has let her personal feelings get to her from time to time and that's what scares her, she's only human. Unfortunately Alya has to miss the first week of school, she has family in Mexico and unfortunately her cousin got caught in the crossfire. Alya's been really upset and even though she's still a believer in Ladybug she's been losing faith other superheroes, she's been Marinette's biggest support since she's become ladybug even if she doesn't realize it.

Marinette finally roused from what little sleep she had and got ready for school. She and Alya have first period together as well as third, and then lunch during fourth and then the rest of the day they have together. Nino and Adrien will be in her first and third and eighth period. At least she would see Adrien and Nino today, she hasn't seen Adrien for most of the summer, between Akumas and his fathers insane schedule for him. Tikki jumped into her purse and Marinette snuck a few cookies in there for her Kwami to munch on during the day and she was off to school.

The school day dragged on for what seemed like an eternity, Nino and Adrien were nice but Chloe was in the same classes as Adrien was. Once eighth period literature class arrived she was exhausted from all the talk about the apparent showdown in Mexico. Apparently during last weeks solar eclipse the two supers had their final showdown, no one has seen them since. Sadly the city had taken a lot of damage and lots of people had lost their lives, Marinette hoped that the final showdown with Hawkmoth wouldn't leave near as many casualties, or hopefully any. Their first assignment due by Wednesday is to write down what it means to be a hero. Marinette winced at the assignment, she's been Ladybug for a year now and she still doesn't know what makes her a hero. Luckily there was no Akuma today and Marinette actually got to hangout with Nino after Adrien went to his after school photo shoot. After a few hours Marinette went home and it was a quiet night for the first time in ages.

Tuesday came and went, no Akuma attack and no major developments at school. Marinette was trying to do her homework on what makes a hero but she couldn't think of anything good and Tikki wasn't any help. Try as she might Marinette didn't know what made a hero, she wrote down many things that one would expect to write about a hero. She wrote about bravery and courage, of compassion and empathy, but nothing she wrote felt like it described her as Ladybug, the true Ladybug behind the mask not in front of. Eventually Marinette wrote something generic with a focus on compassion and courage and went to bed. As soon as she finally got settled down her phone started to ring, it was Alya. The two talked for almost two hours, most of that time was spent catching each other up on their day and other gossip, however Alya spent a good half hour ranting about people that are granted super powers and use those powers for their own selfish reasons. Marinette just listened like a good friend but deep down this hurt her more than Alya could ever know, did she use her Ladybug powers to help others or was she just using them for some selfish reason she couldn't see? After the two hung up sleep did not come easy for Marinette and her dreams were plagued with questions.

On Wednesday Marinette looked like a zombie, they had finally released the number of casualties from the showdown and the number was upwards of 600 with more than 1000 injured. Marinette couldn't imagine being a hero if that many people died and she couldn't do anything to help them. The day blurred together and she couldn't focus, her emotions nearly out of control and she was barely holding it together when an Akuma attacked just as she was heading home for lunch. It wasn't a terribly difficult one but he somehow knew just what to say to make Marinette second guess herself, luckily Chat knew just what to say to get her to snap out of it. After the battle she barely had time to eat before she had to be back at school. By the time Literature rolled around Marinette was still a little on the tense side as she listened to all her classmates tell her how a hero was perfect or completely good or this or that and Marinette felt like a weight had been put on her shoulders and with each student telling how great a hero is or how perfect a hero is she knew they were all talking about Ladybug, about her, they just didn't know it. They had gotten through most of the students when the bell rang only Marinette, Adrien, Chloe and Sabrina had yet to go. Marinette was grateful for once that Alya was missing class, normally she was her greatest supporter but Marinette didn't think she could handle all the things Alya would say about heroes. Marinette walked home and plopped down on her bed, thinking that perhaps a nap would help her calm down.

When Marinette awoke from her nap she felt even more drained than before she took a nap. She ate a late supper and started on her homework she had to do for tomorrow. When she finally finished her homework it was midnight, Marinette stumbled to her bed in exhaustion but tossed and turned for an hour before finally giving up.

"Tikki," Marinette nudged her Kwami, "are you awake?"

"I am now" the tired god responded "what's up?"

"I can't sleep despite how exhausted I am, I'm to upset from all the expectations everyone has placed on me. I'm going to take a nice walk around Paris, as Ladybug of course. Tikki spots on."

The cool air felt good on Ladybug's face as she walked across a series of rooftops, Paris was quiet with few people out and about tonight. The moon was full and cast Paris in an ethereal glow. Marinette used her yo-yo to swing from building to building and after a while she stopped on a particular building, this was Marinette's favorite spot. Marinette has been here a few times when she was really upset, mostly when Chat got hurt saving her or if Chloe was being especially vicious. What startled Marinette was the silhouette that was hunched over the edge looking down. Marinette was debating if she should just leave him alone or if she should see if he needed help. After a moment of hesitation she decided that, as the protector of Paris and its citizens, she would see if he needed help.

"Are you ok?" Ladybug asked in a calm and soothing voice yet not moving from where she was standing. If he had heard her he made no move to acknowledge her. Ladybug walked closer and when she got an arms length away she repeated "Are you ok?"

The boy was pulled from his thoughts and he tumbled backwards off the wall and landed on the roof staring at Ladybug, a moment of hope sparkles in his eyes just for a moment and it quickly died into disappointment. "Oh." He he sighed, "who are you supposed to be?"

Ladybug stared at him in disbelief and felt a little more of her already damaged self confidence slip away. "You don't know who I am?"

"No, sorry I only got into town this afternoon." The boy said standing up.

"Oh you're new to Paris?" Ladybug knew the answer was obvious but she had to ask it anyway.

"Yes and no, my uncle lives here so I usually visit in the summer but the last few summers I've been busy, although I'll be spending the school year here with him."

"Oh, why's that?" Ladybug asked with genuine curiosity.

"I'd rather not go into specifics but have you heard of the fighting in Mexico?" He asked unsure if anyone outside Mexico actually cared.

"Oh." Ladybug trailed off as she realized he was trying to get away from the tragedy. "One of my friends had to go to Mexico for a funeral for her cousin. Do you need to talk about it?"

"I'd rather not, I'm still trying to accept that it happened." The boy said coldly and turned around and put his hands on the half wall.

"Why not talk about it?" Ladybug asked.

The boy remained silent.

"Well if you won't let me help you maybe you can help me." Ladybug said as she sat down on the half wall. After a moment of silence she started again "What does it mean to be a hero?"

"What?" The boy said coming to his senses.

"What does it mean to be a hero." Ladybug responded, "I have an assignment due and I'm not sure what really makes a hero, and I'm a superhero for crying out loud." She said throwing her hands up in the air.

The boy let out a small chuckle at the sight.

"What's so funny?" Ladybug asked

"Do you think just because you wear spandex and have some superpowers makes you a hero?" The boy paused for a moment as Ladybug's jaw dropped. "How did you end up with your miraculous?"

"Um" Ladybug started "it kind of just appeared in my room one day. It was the same day Hawkmoth akumatized his first victim."

"Someone has a lot of faith in you. Any idea why?"

"Not really, I just know I was chosen to become Ladybug."

"Alright, why did you suit up in the first place?"

"Because I was, well am the only one who can purify Akuma's."

"So just because you have the power to do something means you should?"

"Well yeah, I was given these powers so I should use them." Ladybug said not knowing where this was going.

"Who tells you what to do with you're powers, or is it up to your discretion?"

"Well there is a guide that came with it but it's mostly my discretion."

"Alright, why did you suit up tonight? I don't think there's an Akuma around, and if you were looking for crime you wouldn't have stopped on a rooftop to talk to a random civilian. So why?"

Ladybug was taken aback by the accusative question. "Do I need a reason?"

"No, but still something made you decide to suit up and come here, what?"

"I," She didn't really know how to respond and her voice died soon after she opened her mouth.

"Relax, we're just two strangers talking on a rooftop in the middle of the night. Who would believe me if I said I talked to Ladybug on a rooftop past midnight?"

"I suppose you're right." Ladybug took a breath in and let it out before starting again. "I just needed to clear my head, everyone has such high expectations for me and it seems like nobody realizes I'm still human, I make mistakes but everyone trusts me without question. It feels like a weight is pressing down on me and I can't breathe, sometimes I hate being a superhero sometimes. Actually it's more the secret identity, I can't talk to anyone about being a hero except my partner but even then we can't get too close to each other because again secret identities."

The boy sat there letting the silence settle once Ladybug had gotten out what was bothering her. "You do realize that it's not very heroic to use your powers for your personal reasons right?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because you're trying to keep your two lives separate, however tonight you let them cross."

"Oh." Marinette looked down at the street below.

"That's not a bad thing."

"Oh, you're not going to yell at me for misusing my powers?"

"That's not my place last time I checked."

Marinette let out a sad laugh. "Seems like everyone has their own opinions, I wish they were as smart as you."

"I never answered your question did I?" The boy said suddenly realizing they had gotten off track. "Well the funny thing about heroes, they're regular people with nothing special about them. The day before someone is labeled a hero they are just another regular person living a regular life, then one day they are in the right place at the right time and most of the time they don't even realize that what they did was heroic. No one goes out expecting to be a hero, it just happens that way. So don't try to be two different people, the civilian and the hero, that's not who you are, just be yourself with and without the mask. As for being a superhero, just know the difference between suiting up for others and for yourself."

Marinette looked over they boy she'd been talking to, he looked her age but what he was saying was something she'd expect Master Fu would say. Then in the pale moonlight she saw the tell tale shine of scars on his left arm. "How did you get those scars?" Marinette asked before she thought about the question, mentally kicking herself.

"Some other time, however it's getting late and you have school in the morning."

"Don't you?"

"Good night Ladybug." The boy waved as he walked towards the door.

"Good night mystery boy." Marinette waved back as she started back towards home.

By the time she got back it was 2:30 in the morning and as soon as she hit the bed one final thought crossed her mind before she fell asleep, 'I never got his name.'


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: please leave reviews I'm new to writing so I hope I can get better over time. Let me know if you like the new opening or the old one, the overall story will be similar but I'm going to try to keep my OC underpowered. I recognize that I have a habit of making them superhuman when they shouldn't be. I'll probably be editing sections constantly to try and improve the feel of it so please bare with me and leave comments on what I can do better on. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. I'll try to get the second chapter up soon.


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